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祝你不幸!這位父親的“毒雞湯”為什么刷爆全世界朋友圈
2017畢業(yè)演講進(jìn)入尾聲,這段演講一定是最勵(lì)志的,勵(lì)志中帶著毒,演講者沒(méi)有像常規(guī)那樣祝福學(xué)生們前程似錦,而是祝福他們?cè)庥霾恍?、痛苦、失敗?/u>
美國(guó)聯(lián)邦最高法院第17任首席大法官約翰·羅伯茨(John G. Roberts Jr)自己都沒(méi)想到,會(huì)以這樣的方式一夜爆紅。6月他受邀前往兒子初中畢業(yè)典禮發(fā)表致辭,這段感動(dòng)全美的畢業(yè)致詞被全世界社交網(wǎng)站瘋狂刷屏。
《華盛頓郵報(bào)》甚至評(píng)論說(shuō):羅伯茨首席大法官本年度最好的作品,不是某個(gè)案子的判決書(shū),而是在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的致辭。

有必要認(rèn)識(shí)下這位神奇老爸,約翰 ? 羅伯茨(John G. Roberts Jr), 1955年生于紐約州水牛城,在印第安納州長(zhǎng)大。童年時(shí)家境拮據(jù),1971年羅伯茨考入哈佛大學(xué),1976年,羅伯茨以第一名的成績(jī)從哈佛法學(xué)院畢業(yè)。1979年,羅伯茨獲得哈佛法學(xué)院法學(xué)博士學(xué)位。2005年9月,由布什提名,參議院批準(zhǔn)通過(guò),羅伯茨就任美國(guó)聯(lián)邦最高法院第17任首席大法官。當(dāng)時(shí)他僅有50歲,羅伯茨也是自1801年起兩個(gè)世紀(jì)以來(lái),美國(guó)最年輕的首席大法官。

羅伯茨與妻子育有一子一女,雖然都是他們領(lǐng)養(yǎng)的,但視如己出。當(dāng)年布什總統(tǒng)宣布提名首席大法官時(shí),羅伯茨時(shí)年4歲的小兒子杰克突然 “砸場(chǎng)子”,面對(duì)各大電視現(xiàn)場(chǎng)直播的關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻,顯得尷尬又有趣。12年過(guò)去了,這位昔日淘氣少年即將從 Cardigan Mountain School 畢業(yè),學(xué)校畢業(yè)典禮請(qǐng)來(lái)了杰克老爸,首席大法官羅伯茨致辭,沒(méi)想到這個(gè)老爸“借此上位
”一夜爆紅。
這位父親沒(méi)有祝福大家前程似錦,而是前路坎坷,不公,不幸,背叛,失敗……句句扎心,卻意外深得人心。
有人說(shuō),雨就像從天而來(lái)的五彩紙碎,所以今天上午上天也加入我們,一起慶祝這個(gè)美好的畢業(yè)典禮。
慶典繼續(xù)進(jìn)行前,畢業(yè)生,你們有個(gè)重要的任務(wù)要執(zhí)行,因?yàn)槟銈兩砗笥心銈兊母改负捅O(jiān)護(hù)人。幾年前,他們開(kāi)車送你們來(lái)到卡迪根,幫助你們安頓下來(lái),轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身又駛出了大門。這對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)是非凡的犧牲。他們沿著淚水之路開(kāi)車回到一個(gè)比此前空曠和孤獨(dú)的家。他們這樣做,是因?yàn)樗麄冎肋@個(gè)教育決定是為了你們而作,不是為了他們。
這樣的犧牲和他們所做的其它一切把你們帶到了今天這個(gè)節(jié)點(diǎn)。 但今天上午不只是為了你們慶祝,也是為了他們,所以請(qǐng)你們站起來(lái)轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身去給他們最熱烈的掌聲。
現(xiàn)在如果有人問(wèn)我卡迪根的演講如何,我可以說(shuō)發(fā)言被掌聲打斷了。恭喜,2017屆的畢業(yè)生。你們已經(jīng)達(dá)到了一個(gè)重要的里程碑。你們生命中的一個(gè)重要階段已經(jīng)過(guò)去。但我很抱歉地告訴你們,這只是生命中最簡(jiǎn)單的階段,書(shū)上也是這么說(shuō)的。你們不僅是卡迪根的學(xué)生,也是一個(gè)重要國(guó)際社區(qū)的成員,我覺(jué)得這點(diǎn)需要特別指出。
今天在全國(guó)各地的大學(xué)、高中、中學(xué),都有致詞嘉賓站在不耐煩的畢業(yè)生面前。他們幾乎總是說(shuō)同樣的話。他們會(huì)說(shuō)今天是一場(chǎng)演練:“這是一個(gè)開(kāi)始,而不是結(jié)束,你們應(yīng)該向前看。”我覺(jué)得這樣說(shuō)很貼切,但是,如果你想弄清楚未來(lái)要走向何方,了解你的過(guò)去并回頭看也很重要。我想如果你回憶在卡迪根的第一個(gè)下午,也許會(huì)記得你是孤單的。也許你會(huì)記得你有點(diǎn)害怕,有點(diǎn)焦慮。再看現(xiàn)在的你,周圍都是被稱為兄弟的朋友們,一起信心滿滿地面對(duì)下一階段的教育。
值得思考的是為什么你能有今天的變化?當(dāng)你這樣做的時(shí)候,我想你可能會(huì)感恩同學(xué)們的支持,不管是在班級(jí)、操場(chǎng)或宿舍里。就信心而言,我覺(jué)得它的建立不是因?yàn)槟阕雒考露寄艹晒?,而是因?yàn)槟阍谂笥训膸椭?,不怕失敗?strong>如果你失敗了,你站起來(lái)再試一次。如果你再失敗,你就再試一次。如果下一次你還失敗了,可能是時(shí)候考慮做別的事情了。但你走到今天不僅是因?yàn)槟切┏晒?,更因?yàn)槟悴慌率 ?/strong>
通常致辭嘉賓都會(huì)祝你們好運(yùn)并送上祝福,我不會(huì)這樣做,但我會(huì)告訴你們?yōu)槭裁础?/strong>
在接下來(lái)數(shù)年的時(shí)間里,我希望你們被不公平對(duì)待,如此一來(lái),你們才知道公平正義的重要。
我希望你們?cè)庥霰撑?,你們才?huì)學(xué)到忠誠(chéng)的重要性。
很抱歉這么說(shuō),但我希望你們有時(shí)感到孤單,這樣才不會(huì)把朋友的存在視為理所當(dāng)然。
我希望你們?nèi)晃鍟r(shí)就遭遇不幸,如此才能意識(shí)到幾率和運(yùn)氣在人生中扮演的角色,了解到你的成功不完全是你所應(yīng)得的,而他人的失敗也不是他們所應(yīng)得的結(jié)果。
當(dāng)你們失敗時(shí),人生三不五時(shí)一定會(huì)有失敗,我希望你的對(duì)手會(huì)對(duì)你的失敗感到幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍,讓你們理解運(yùn)動(dòng)家精神的重要性。
我希望你們被忽視,如此才會(huì)知道聆聽(tīng)他人的重要性,我還希望你們?cè)庥鲎銐虻耐纯鄟?lái)學(xué)習(xí)同理心。
不管有沒(méi)有這些“祝?!?,我說(shuō)的事情,未來(lái)終究會(huì)發(fā)生。
至于你們是否能從中獲利,則取決于你們從不幸中獲得某些訊息的能力。
畢業(yè)致詞者通常會(huì)給學(xué)生一些建議。他們會(huì)給一些人生建議,也會(huì)給一些有用的小竅門。最常給的建議就是“做自己”。給你們這些都穿著同樣畢業(yè)袍的人這樣的建議實(shí)在有點(diǎn)怪,但你們確實(shí)應(yīng)該做自己。只是你們得了解做自己的意義何在。除非你很完美,否則做自己不代表不改變。在某些狀況來(lái)說(shuō),你不應(yīng)該做自己,而是應(yīng)該變成更好的人。大家要你做自己,是因?yàn)橄M銈儾灰兂蓜e人要你們改變的樣子。但除非你們了解自己是誰(shuí),或思考過(guò)自己是誰(shuí),否則無(wú)法做自己。
希臘哲人蘇格拉底說(shuō)過(guò),“未經(jīng)自省的人生沒(méi)有意義。”對(duì)某些事情而言,just do it 是不錯(cuò)的座右銘,但在你想明白自己想要什么樣的人生之前,這個(gè)座右銘可不咋滴。要過(guò)美好生活的一個(gè)重要提示就是不要試圖過(guò)“那個(gè)美好的生活”。最容易失去那些對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)至關(guān)重要的價(jià)值觀的方式,坦白地說(shuō),就是不要去想它們。
這是深刻的建議,還有一些你到新學(xué)校適用的技巧。過(guò)去幾年,我對(duì)你們之中很多年輕人有了不錯(cuò)的了解,我知道你們是好小伙。但你們也是有幸的年輕人。如果你來(lái)這里時(shí)沒(méi)有特權(quán),現(xiàn)在也有了,因?yàn)槟銇?lái)過(guò)了這里。但我的建議是:不要表現(xiàn)出來(lái)。
當(dāng)你到了新學(xué)校,走到正在耙葉子、鏟雪或倒垃圾的人身邊,向他們介紹自己。詢問(wèn)他們的名字,并在在校期間如此稱呼他們。另一個(gè)建議:走路時(shí)身邊經(jīng)過(guò)不認(rèn)識(shí)的人,微笑,看著他們的眼睛,打招呼。最糟糕的結(jié)果是,你會(huì)被稱為那個(gè)老是笑著打招呼的年輕人,這并不是一個(gè)糟糕的開(kāi)端。過(guò)去幾年你們的校園里只有男生,但大多數(shù)人即將和女生一起上學(xué)。對(duì)這些人我沒(méi)有任何建議。
我給你們的最后一個(gè)建議很簡(jiǎn)單,但我認(rèn)為可能會(huì)對(duì)你的生活產(chǎn)生很大影響。每周一次,你應(yīng)該給某人寫(xiě)個(gè)短箋。不是電子郵件,而是寫(xiě)在紙上的簡(jiǎn)短話語(yǔ),只需要你花10分鐘。問(wèn)下家里的成年人,讓他們告訴你什么是郵票。你可以把郵票貼在信封上。我重申,10分鐘,每周一次?,F(xiàn)在我會(huì)幫你。我來(lái)口述你應(yīng)該寫(xiě)的第一個(gè)短箋。它會(huì)說(shuō):“親愛(ài)的(填上卡迪根山中學(xué)一位老師的名字)?!苯又鴮?xiě):“我開(kāi)始在這所新學(xué)校上學(xué)了。英語(yǔ)課我們正在讀(空白)。足球訓(xùn)練很辛苦,但我很享受。謝謝您對(duì)我的教導(dǎo)?!卑阉胚M(jìn)信封,貼上郵票然后寄出。這對(duì)于那些因?yàn)楦鞣N原因致力于中學(xué)男生教育的人來(lái)說(shuō)意義重大。就像我說(shuō)的,這只需要你每周10分鐘時(shí)間。
到學(xué)年結(jié)束時(shí),你已經(jīng)向40人寄出短箋。因?yàn)槟?,?0個(gè)人會(huì)覺(jué)得自己有點(diǎn)特別,他們也會(huì)覺(jué)得你很特別。沒(méi)有其他人會(huì)在你在校期間攜帶那樣的紅利。
說(shuō)了夠多的建議,我想朗讀一些重要的歌詞來(lái)結(jié)尾。我之前引用了希臘哲學(xué)家蘇格拉底的話。而這些歌詞來(lái)自偉大的美國(guó)哲學(xué)家鮑勃·迪倫。大約50年前,迪倫想念正在旅途中的兒子,為他作了詞。它列出父母對(duì)兒子和女兒的希望。它們也是每個(gè)孩子的目標(biāo)。這些愿望是美好的,永恒的。它們是普世的。它們也是真實(shí)的,除了一個(gè)給了這首歌曲標(biāo)題和副歌的愿望。這個(gè)愿望是父母的挽歌。這不是一個(gè)好愿望。
以下歌詞來(lái)自鮑勃·迪倫的《永遠(yuǎn)年輕》:
愿上帝庇佑 護(hù)你前路
愿你美夢(mèng)均可成真
愿你與人為善 相互扶持
愿你建成通往群星的天梯
穩(wěn)妥沿它而上
愿你永遠(yuǎn)年輕
愿你成為正直之人
愿你成就真實(shí)自我
愿你永遠(yuǎn)感知真理
看向身邊無(wú)盡光明
愿你勇敢無(wú)懼 堅(jiān)強(qiáng)可靠
愿你永遠(yuǎn)年輕 擁有純潔之心
愿你雙手永遠(yuǎn)忙碌
愿你腳步永遠(yuǎn)輕盈
在變故橫生之時(shí) 愿你根基牢靠
愿你心中永遠(yuǎn)充滿快樂(lè)
愿你的歌聲永遠(yuǎn)嘹亮
愿你永遠(yuǎn)年輕
謝謝。
知道你英語(yǔ)好,為你附上英文原文:
Rain, somebody said, is like confetti from heaven. So even the heavens are celebrating this morning, joining the rest of us at this wonderful commencement ceremony. Before we go any further, graduates, you have an important task to perform because behind you are your parents and guardians. Two or three or four years ago, they drove into Cardigan, dropped you off, helped you get settled and then turned around and drove back out the gates. It was an extraordinary sacrifice for them. They drove down the trail of tears back to an emptier and lonelier house. They did that because the decision about your education, they knew, was about you. It was not about them. That sacrifice and others they made have brought you to this point. But this morning is not just about you. It is also about them, so I hope you will stand up and turn around and give them a great round of applause. Please.
Now when somebody asks me how the remarks at Cardigan went, I will be able to say they were interrupted by applause. Congratulations, class of 2017. You’ve reached an important milestone. An important stage of your life is behind you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you it is the easiest stage of your life, but it is in the books. While you’ve been at Cardigan, you have all been a part of an important international community as well. And I think that needs to be particularly recognized.
[Roberts gave brief remarks in other languages.]
Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well. And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.
It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.
Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.
Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don't learn who are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.
The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is to not to try to live thegood life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all.
So that’s the deep advice. Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Over the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it.
When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school. Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.
You’ve been at a school with just boys. Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.
The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope. Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say: ‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’ Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people. Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.
Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier. These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old. He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter. The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:
May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young
Thank you.





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